Halloween !!! My favorite holiday!! The way most feel about Christmas is how I feel about Halloween! The decorations the kids the candy! The costumes!!!

So Halloween is the least judgmental day ever! Anyone can wear whatever you want & it’s ok no one judges you. Dressing up like the Queen you are tiara & sparkling shoes. Or a pilot or a monster or a a fairy! It can be anything from an any to an eagle to an elephant!!! And you’ll probably get more compliments than you normally would no matter what the outfit might look like. The only day of the year that you can wear whatever you want without worry. You want to also know what is so special about Halloween!? It’s the only holiday that people go door to door , yes it’s for candy but it’s something we actually come together and do together. It gives us the opportunity to meet new people & could you imagine if we did something like that more regularly, do you see how strong we could become?

Can you hear me I hope so and I want you to listen loud and clear so it’s 313 now but it was 11 at 3:11 today on September 12, 2025. I’m riding down the road and for some reason it pops in my head back about 19 years ago. I had a gun to my head and I was duct tape in the car in the driveway of my house when I gotten home that evening from movie time, I noticed that the cat was not inside and I know for sure I saw that cat as I was walking out the door And as soon as that thought, and those words started to come out of my mouth, I also noticed that there was a light on that wasn’t on before and my kids room. My kids weren’t there this day so then like I was saying that that knowing that the cat was in doors, I didn’t even have a split while that is all I had was literally a split second to know that something wasn’t right, but not even it was barely even that like I didn’t have like not even enough I didn’t have the time to be like did somebody break in my house like just saying those words I didn’t have that much time so there was no time to think it just happened Shots were being fired from a gun from the side my house and I hear FBI get down now when I first heard FBI I really actually thought it was the FBI and then their ski mask in around the heads and faces of these two men approached me on the passenger side of the vehicle which actually was my cousin‘s vehicle with borrowed her car that evening And a tire was shot at so we couldn’t drive away the other guy that approached the guy that also lived at my house. He was pistol whipped on the side of his face. I can’t remember whether or not they wrapped him in duct, tape or not I was wrapped in duct tape with a gun to the side of my head and you know at first, I was a little frightened. I was 7 1/2 eight months pregnant with my with one of my children, and I was not scared. I wasn’t terrified. I know I probably should’ve been, but I saw the look in that guy‘s eyes. He did not wanna hurt me. I don’t even know who he is five years after the incident I did find out who had came into my home and did that but I don’t know. I don’t know his story. Only thing I know is he lived the guy both of them live together and an apartment of where a girl I know used to live as well. Anyway, I just knew you didn’t wanna hurt me. I don’t even know if that guy even wanted to be there. I don’t know if he was like bullied from the other guy to do it. I don’t know. Maybe it was his idea and it’s been going way too far. I don’t I don’t know, but one thing I didn’t know is he did not wanna hurt me so he barely put the tape on me. He did still my purse. Didn’t have much cash in there that didn’t give a crap about that but I didn’t like the fact that I didn’t go get a new drivers license. I had to go get new insurance cards for myself my other children like and yeah I’m one of those people who cares they Social Security card and their wallet and children so needless to say I lost all of that and I had to go get it all over again I do not carry around Social Security cards in my wallet anymore after that incident but I guess I just wanna know that story behind that guy and I also wanna tell him that I know that he wasn’t gonna hurt me. I have in the last five years or so I did get a message from the other guythe one that pistol whipped my roommates head face. I did get a message from him from someone else, that he was sorry for that evening. I did appreciate that. You never know what could happen .. at any given moment. These men lost there freedom on the next house they hit & are now spending the rest of there lives in prison….

June 22, 2025

Birds are chu

it’s are chirping this morning. As they do every morning. I’m going to walk down to my sisters and dad’s house momentarily and take me a shower before church this morning. Something is wrong with my the pump in the well, the free that have looked don’t know what the issue is. My daughter’s father was duped to come look at it and he didn’t show up.

Interesting past few days what would be life without anything hallowing

I know in this world you have to work for what you want , I also know that anyone could perhaps have anything that they want as long as they work towards it and put their mind to it. And how bad they actually really want it. I do believe in more good than bad. I believe that there are a lot more good people in this world than there are bad people in this world. I still cannot wrap my head 100% around the evil and it’s not really the evil more or less that I can’t wear my head around it is the Unseen intentions of those who say mean things the whole I’m rubber you’re blue and whatever you say, bounces off of me and sticks to you is a complete opposite of what actual reality is at least in my world because things that people say do not go away. They’re always there in your mind because everything you hear well it just doesn’t go away now you could punch me in my face and that bruise will go away long forgotten when you cannot see it in the mirror but that reflection reflects the words that do not leave your mind if you’re not strong enough to listen to them. And anyone reading this just now that you do have the power to push those words into greater things and you can learn how to be who you naturally are and that is better than those words that have been spoken to you and now I’m writing this or speaking about it because Unfortunately, I have been blessed with many whom do not like to see me for who I am and talk things of me that are not true of me and for what reason I have no idea the one thing that I like to say, and I tell my children you have haters then you’re obviously doing something rightso who cares what they say and if it’s not affecting your daily life then again, who cares what they say as long as you know who you really are then it shouldn’t matter and today yesterday and the day before and the day before that you know I hear from people That tell me, but you know someone was not talking very good of me that well smiles in my face and pretends that they like me. Love me at that matter. Does it get to me sometimes yeah I don’t understand what I’ve done to this person to make them feel and say the things that they say towards me One thing I can say is I still love that person and eventually that person may know what it really doesn’t matter. I just wanted to say something because it allows me to not take what they say to heart anyway I hope everyone knows it’s reading this that you guys are beautiful and amazing and I hope you get everything you want in life.

I’m not sure where to begin. I haven’t been on here for a while because I don’t know how to use this thing which is kind of sad honestly but you know what that’s what I get for skipping class when I was in high school yep, AnyWho, life right wow, let’s see my baby sister had a little girl back in June . My other younger sister is due at the end of September a girl, my baby sister with the first girl that was her first child my sister that’s right underneath me that’s due at the end of September. This is her seventh child yes and then my other sister she is also pregnant with her fourth child and she’s having a boy. Oh man yes my family is large very very large family between me and my three sisters. I have four she’ll have 48+ one is 9+7 is 16 yeah And I am the oldest grandchildren and there are I wanna say something great we have five generations at one time when my mother was still alive. I have my children. It’s pretty cool, but I mean I didn’t start a little early regret having children I think I had more energy. I was able to call my younger years a little bit more Than adults in this generation you need to be a little bit more to what what is going on you know I always be a little hit. What’s going on parenting you know not to too far from from an Eno to now I can say that some of the old school well they’re pretty old. Old school my grandmother is 83 going on 84 this October. She’s definitely old school for real not a bad thing but just is not a 100% aware of you know how life is she my grandparents raised me well I live with them a lot of my childhood. My mom and dad did, but I did live with my grandparents as well And that generational gap definitely kinda made my teenage years when I did stay with them little rough little rough when they didn’t have to be communication wasn’t correct certain extent and certain way certain situation should I say but anyway yes I come from a large family family family. I was taught one thing. I’m sure other people will agree with me that sometimes Maya I’m helping my children. Keep our family. I try my best to keep the family together as much as I possibly can a lot of grandchildren get older and they have their own children in their own families in their own lives. Some traditions shouldn’t die…

well it’s been about a month since I’ve been on here honestly I hadn’t even thought about it. Randomly here & there & I really should do this everyday ! My life is so crazy ! Boredom is not something I know to much about & I believe Einstein said that intelligent people do not get bored , they can always find something to do! The passed 2 weeks I’ve been helping my mema get things ready for her house to be put on the market, selling this piece of property digs deep into my core this is the one place I’ve always considered home. My grandparents bought it back in the early 80s built a house made it a home we had horses and beautiful tall pine trees a creek that

june 19 2025

Today is Thursday is it the 5th day of the week? The 4th day of a work week ? The day before Friday? The day before the last day of work before the weekend? the weekend consisting of the last and first day of the week , so why do we call it the weekend? Assuming it’s because it starts with the end of the week? Why can’t we call it a tease? By the time you’re feeling refreshed from the hard work you’ve put in during the week you have to start out all over. Soon my opinion it should be 3 days not 2 Thursday- Sunday or Friday through Monday . Anyway ADHD does affect me in many different ways and differently throughout my life . One of the things that has never changed is that squirrel moment! I will talk about random things randomly and at random times!
So what I wanted to talk about is unhealthy relationships. I know I’ve my share of toxicity, physical abuse, mental , & sexual abuse. Not everyone gets it right the first the first second or 3rd time… finding to be right partner takes time and patience and isn’t easy. What I’ve always told everyone, stop looking for love . It’s like going to buy a dress for a special occasion, you can’t ever find what you’re looking for … same with love it’ll come when the time is right patients is a virtue and good things come to those who wait . And even it finds you irl slap you in the face , but that’s not what I’m writing about. I just want to let young Women know from experience, and others of you’re a young woman and the common sense isn’t there or have anyone else pointing out the dangers of your relationship then you’ve been sheltered or something. Early 20s and her man is obsessed with her, controls everything but her money which he had no problem spending it. Guns and there accessories are his favorite hobby owns many of them, won’t let you go anywhere without him tagging along and if he’s not physically present , he is on her cell phone so he’s basically there the whole time you’re out with a girl friend. You then proceed to move in with the man, then he blacks you eye? You’re in a death trap at 22 . This isn’t normal behavior and to be so ignorant blows my mind… How could she actually believe that this is ok? And have been with him 5 years? Recently moved in together… I’m literally mind blown.. My opinion plan carefully, you’ve got to disappear pre plan a completely new identity somewhere else. You’re in so much danger and possibly your loved ones I don’t know 100% of the situation but he’s insecurity, obsession, controlling physically abusive & probably mentally abusive , manipulating in some form your still with him, and he own lots of firearms . He’s mentally deranged . Don’t tell him your leaving , and get out of dodge cuz the longer you with him the worse that snap with be the day you tell him you’re done. I’m praying for you girl. I pray that you wake up soon. I need others to pray for her as well with me, she needs strength, and protection, she needs all she can to get her safely away from him. Smile be happy it’s Good for you , I’ll help you , get away, heal from the trauma and you’ll find a healthy relationship

2025 …..

there are so many things that I wanna say, but Privacy I’m not

But for privacy reasons, I’m not going to a blast Blast

i’m not gonna put people’s business out here but I’m I only write this for I guess my myself I don’t know of anyone who is actually reading it I will tell you 2025. It’s got it marvelous interesting worthy points and definitely the better ones of the year are to come but a little bit into this year. I have walked down the street with my laundry in a basket, I’ve walked so much, but it actually knocked the wheels off the basket. I have done that till 1 o’clock in the morning so that my kid has you know clean clothes to wear to school the next day something happened with my well and with a sand bucket, which let me tell you only gets like maybe 6 ounces at a time to pull up out of the well to wash my dishes since my daughter wants to dirty up every dish that I have in the house and without running water at the moment you know it’s kind of hard to wash dishes. I have walked 45 minutes to go get my daughter‘s glasses that she left at a friend‘s house I have had someone tell me I’m worthless and thought it was funny. I have the ability to point out a narcissist now or see that someone is a narcissist a whole lot quicker than I did before because I had never actually dealt with one until a year ago and yes, I know that people throw that word around like you know it’s the word a it or is or no or something but a narcissist really really will break you down like really break you down I’ve never had someone break me down like that. I’ve had you know people do some pretty messed up things to me. I have had people say some pretty harsh things to me, but a narcissist literally will break you down will completely change you and you have to fight to get yourself back. You have to struggle you have to excuse me. It is a struggle to get yourself back very capable of doing, but it was a struggle and the sad part about it. Is you still love that narcissist you still love that person who completely destroyed your confidence momentarily destroyed it and I do believe that a narcissist knows that they’re destroying you and I honestly don’t know if they really have feelings or not. I mean, I can see the sadness, but does it actually hurt them? Do they really have feelings? I don’t I don’t know like I honestly don’t know. I thought at one time that there was an impulse to say the things that are not nice so therefore you know I could be forgiving of those does not nice words, but when he really needed me in the moment I saw and heard the words that were about to be spoken out loud that were not going to be nice and then I see that quickability to not allow them to come out I knew at that moment like wow it’s not

it’s not a compulsive act. It’s actually a controlled controlled speech. I saw that he could control the words that were to come out of his mouth and to think at one time I thought I was gonna have the ability to or thought I would have the ability to defy science no no those individuals that say things to hurt others feelings, and repeatedly do it over and over again, they have no soul. They have absolutely no soul there dark and empty and cold inside their hair just to make sure they destroy others. That’s like that’s all they do is a real you in seem like sweet nice people and then as soon as they they think think they caught y’all all the way and you aren’t gonna go anywhere that is when they start to pick you apart. I’ve never been picked apart before none till then. It was kind of hard to deal with. I’ve never been treated that way i’ve never been spoken to that way ever words are a lot, and I truly believe that you are to treat others the way you want to be treated and in no way shape or form do I feel that anyone should hurt anyone’s feelings I don’t care I mean, constructive criticism. Yes that’s fine but to hurt someone’s feelings like words can literally destroy a person or build a person and if you’re not building someone then why are you speaking? If you have nothing nice to say you should just be silent and sit over there in the corner don’t nobody wanna hear the word that coming out your mouth at least I don’t and I’m sure the person next to me doesn’t either I don’t know where I was going with this. I was talking about the rough things that I’ve had to deal with this year and the things I’ve had to do and now here I go on and on about a narcissist, but I can say that I know the tough things that I’ve had to go through in the work that I’ve had to do not only to overcome that destruction of what another did to me mentally and to even have them knock every thing every dream every idea anything it wasn’t it was never supported. It was ignored our beat down and before the end of 2025 I guess we’ll see where I’ll be and if all this hard work pays off I know it’s hot right now. Jesus this whole week has been gruesome when I guess I’m gonna end this with always drive for that dream no matter what other people say treat others the way you want to be treated in no matter what you’re awesome. You’re amazing. We live in a magical magical world amongst evil monsters who will never win smile be happy. It’s so good for you